“Just stand up for yourself!” is a common phrase said to individuals on the short end of the stick. However, for many people it’s not as easy as simply saying their thoughts and feelings in the heat of the moment. This lack of assertiveness can be the result of trauma holding them back as well as fears and conflict avoidance. So how does one learn how to overcome these obstacles?
Why People Lack Assertiveness
From an outside perspective, people can be very quick to judge and belittle those who are not as outspoken. The lack of assertiveness can stem from a wide variety of factors in a person’s life. This can be having low self-esteem, being unable to handle stress, being avoidant, etc. Some people avoid being assertive because they fear that their peers will not like them for being “too bold”. Others may be so used to remaining passive, such as due to past abuse or bullying, that they find it hard to break out of their shell.
Understand the Differences in Communication
The first step is to understand the differences between assertiveness, passiveness, and aggressiveness. Being assertive is vastly different from aggressiveness and some people may misunderstand the difference in communication. Aggressive people tend to put their needs first by pushing other people over without any regard – often coming off as rude or selfish. While assertiveness is being able to confidently communicate one’s wants and needs while still considering other people’s feelings.
On the other end of the spectrum, passive individuals tend to “go along with the ride” and support other people’s wants even if they don’t agree with it. They often have difficulty imposing their own thoughts and wishes. Similarly, a passive-aggressive person may not directly announce their thoughts but they tend to express negative feelings in an indirect way instead of openly addressing them.
To be assertive is to be clear, honest, and direct in communicating what you want without hurting or offending those around you. Assertive individuals are able to express their views even under stress. An example would be confidently asking for a raise or promotion at work in a concise and professional manner.
Learning to Be More Assertive
Assertiveness is a communication skill that anyone can master. It’s about being calm during times when assertiveness is needed. It’s much easier to refuse to do something and stand your ground when you’re not worried about what the other person thinks about you. Remember that it’s possible to give an aura of confidence without being rude and remaining positive and approachable.
This is how hypnosis comes into play. Hypnosis changes the way your unconscious mind reacts to stressful situations and naturally eases any fears during confrontations and disagreements. This allows individuals to delve into self-discovery and eliminate any past negative issues.
Of course learning how to be assertive won’t magically happen overnight. It’s best to start small while integrating assertive choices in your life. Learning how to say no to things and setting boundaries are key steps in building your self-esteem. People are not mind readers so always try to speak up for yourself if something is bothering you and be open to feedback. At the end of the day, even the smallest of victories and achievements will boost your confidence.
Changing your emotions about being assertive is key in better developing your communication skills. With hypnosis, assertiveness can be a natural part of your personality and enable you to have a voice in various situations. Improve your personal growth with the help of Mind Enhancement Center. Learn more about our hypnosis services by visiting our website.